MAO XIAN CENTRE = marks &spencers ?
Laughhs, someone create a joke that day.
I shall kept his privacy xDDD
But its like so funny lorhs.
hmms, days has been sucky nowadays.
Firstly ,Mummy didnt intend to let me back.
Secondly ,Ganqing whom i dotes on left me.
6 months, i will wait for her to come out &enjoy with me agains. ):
Thirdly ,Im currently forcing mahself to do something i didnt want to.
Fourthly ,xiaojiu doesnt seems interested to hire me.
Interview FAILED!~
Spoke to Jy last night too! Talked about so many things.
Planned something with her.. SECRETS*
My engine breaks down last night with Rongkorkor.
Before i go meet him at tiong bahru, my engine breaks down.
I guess its because too many things has happen lerh barhhs.
Erzi is sicked. Hmm, pei him go see doctor yesterday.
Eh, stupid erzi.. you better take care of your own health horh!
If not i will take away the surprise.
His doctor is so COOOLLLL lorhs!
Wahahas.
PK snake with him &i bet he loses.
xDDD so bad de mama also got huh ?
Eh erzi , i will beat you in audi derhhs.
Let me train back my skills xP
That day pei erzi and emerson go drinkdrink.
ended up merlion-ing is emerson.
Emerson !!! hahas. ehs, you take care of your own body larhs.
Dont drink so much cans? ownself know what is happening to your own body.
Dont want help yourself, noone could help you.
anyways, take care buhs ! thanks for th tagg .(:
alrights, im going back to audi. (: update laters peo-ples !



I knew how much you love me boy, but when its time for you to let go, you should. I dun want you to get hurt by me again. Hope you understand why am i doing all this. If being the bad guy im hurting you more, Im sorry.

BLOODBLOOD, im sorry.):
i overslept today &ended up didnt fetch her from girls home.
Im so disappointed over mahself !
Wellwell, later probably meeting angah! finally she's out!
Gotta meether.
So for now, i got to go bathe!
Update later peo-ples!!

Finally get to blog in again.
Pester mah xiaojiu for many days. &today he finally brought home!
Hahas. tomorrow i will be fetching mah bloodblood.(:
6hours counting down to leave the house.
Wow! tomorrow i will be leaving th house at 7am lorhs. waking up at 6.30am.(((:
Laughhs lorhs! its so early cans ?!
Hmms, metup with jonas just now at ganqing's house.
I WONT AVOID ANYMORE LERHS !
its so bad to treat someone i treasure like this.

I APOLOGISE TO YOU ! DUIBUQI ! IM SORRY !

hmms, you should know who you are buhhs.
Days are passing at an average speed.
Yesterday spoken to mah mummy.
Well, was kind of pissed off but hopefully i guess, we're getting better.
Perhaps, Absence makes th heart grows fonder?
Whatever it is.. friends are planning something tomorrow.
I dunno how should i feel about it. Felt so guilty somehow.
But sighhs, guys, do what you all want alrights ?
Will th plan succeed i dont know..
Hopefully it does? or will it not ?
Anyway, ALL TH BEST to whoever is in th plann !

JIAYOU! JIAYOU! JIAAYOOUUUUU !!


Heard that he is married lerhs. But divorced again. Thn that time what he told me, are obviously sweettalks. He still didnt change. Two years ago, He is like that. Two years later, he is still th same. Thankful to God that i didnt fall for his trap again this time round. I hate him. &this time, i really did hate him. I did it. Forgotten him, his love to me is nothing. Maybe i shouldnt have done all things to hurt mahself because of him. Hmms, Im heaving a sigh of relief now. Im out from his world. &He is no longer in mah heart.

Thats mah ganqing. thats her.(:

Blogging in again.(:

hey! i have been reviving mah blog nowadays.

Feeding it with posts &all stuffs.

laugh.(:

Got lectured once again by erzi.

Im lost at that point of time

&i was shocked larhs.didnt blamed him for anything but just was shocked to hear that from him.

sighs, maybe just have to bucked up buhhs.

Whatever it is, i cant 自暴自弃!

Th more they wanna look down on me,

th more i have to prove them wrong.

Planning to later was BLANKED!

Unsure of later.

Today is friday lerhs!

fetching mah bloodblood out this sunday!!! WOOHOOS!

looking forward to this sunday.

It seems like so many planning.

going out with korkor &bloodblood.

at night drinking &fagging.

morning shopping , night fagging aways.

LAUGHS. planning fulled huh ?

hopefully i could get mah three hundred bucks luhhs.

if not how to drink lehs?!

STRESSEDDD ~

Freaked out!
Totally alrights?!
urghs! im just sick &tired of mah own family.
Be it now or what, i just have to stand alone.
I dont want to be alone liao canns?
I hate to be alone.
I dun wan to be alone cans?
sighhs, But im trying mah best to get used to it again.
Went to LOT1 again with jean.co.
ate pizzahut &th waiter is so funny.
ask to refill water, he go take chilli sauce for us.
serve to th table &we looked at each other blankly &laughs.
I know i was practically bad. But i just cant help it larhs.(:
Sean's birthday today. bought a cake for him.
maybe later buying fagg.(:
had been fagging nowadays.
Planning to ton at ECP tonight. Not confirmed.
Unsured plans.
Hmms, now currently at cousin's house. Celebrating Sean's birthday luhs.
I suddenly find mah cousin's house more lively thn mine.
When will i find mah family love?
I want to have it cans?

Im avoiding. Avoiding so many things that is happening. Can I have someone to be by my side? I know I need someone badly now. But I sees noone approaching me. Noones. Once again, Im feeling so alone. Im being alone. And I know, th whole night.. Im going to be alone. My cries was heard by noone. Noone sees how i control &kept mah tears up. Forget it, Im xiaorisse. Just me alone, just me.

That would be me. Im feeling kind of lonely nowadays again.

Thats jeann and me.(:

Boredom is filling mah life up these days.
Thats all life is about for me.
Been thinking a lot &simply cracking mah brain up.

One day, i gonna have brain cancers &i know th reason perfectly.

My brain cells is dying from th speed im having mah thoughts.

Im seriously tired from everything.

I need a break.

Yeahs, a break..

MAH BLOG IS DYING!!
it has been so long ever since i last update alrights? no com, no nothing.
life is getting boring huhs?
previously mah life is all bout cycling &just cycling.
now, mah life is all about train-ing &bus-ing.
oh gosh! family is with problems nowadays.
blames &accuses are placed on me.
&i just hate it alrights?!
urghhks! it simply sucks larhs.
maybe to those adults, im just a bad kid in their wonderful eyes.
i just cant be perfect to them.
yeahs! im an imperfect girl, borned in a perfect family.
&th feeling just sucks. i cant &will never be perfect!
why? im not them!
seriously im not marhs.
what they want me to do?
placing stress &a different kind of judgement they give.
oh gosh! how i wish i didnt know anything about that larhs.
does they even know what i want?
in th past, now... &i guess for th future.
it wil be like that buhhs.
just a home. a home for me to stay.
nothing else.
no love no nothing.
this is what they give.
so now, this is what i am.
sighhs. im just had had enough with mah own life.
why? too many things had happen &im just trying mah best to cope with it.
hmms.. days are just going round &round with th same people &yeahs.
thats all its about.
been around cck nowadays.
not heading over to east &im stucked at this particular place.
LOT1!!!
i want to sign line larhs. waiting for mah ahgong or whoever to help me.
now that things turned out so awry, i guess mah line... BYEBYE!!
neverminds luhhs.
i had been kind of an emotional these days &friends around are trying to buck me up, pulling me back to mah own feet.
i appreciate what they did. i did!!
sighhs~ im like back to mah old self wherebys i felt alone most of th time.
i need someone elses company! but noone had been there.
relating to cousin nowadays &i seems to be losing everyone around.
friends, family..
i seems to be losing them.
but they were around lehs.
ive been tryiing to avoid.
maybe because i do not want anymore misunderstandings to happen.
i dislike misunderstanding.
really dislike it a lot.
because of misuderstandings, so many unhappy things happen.
now, im avoiding it.
im afraid cans?
im a human too!
im not a robot, im a human.
can you all just understand me for once?
sighhs.
im tired &totally just freaked out.
i know i shouldnt avoid anyone, anything.
but maybe give me some time to cope with all problems.
i still treasure you all, but really..
dun misunderstands me anymore cans?
cause th misunderstanding is not what you thought it is.
please clarify whatever you want with me,
rather thn jumping into any other conclusions in your own world.
cause to me, clarification is much much more better thn losing someone unknowingly.
especially someone whom i treasures.
sighhs~~~
mah world seems to be getting darker &darker day by day.
i dunno why.
but just it.
anyway, thanks for being there by mah side girls &bunks.
thanks lots guys!!
THOSE WHO YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN MAH TREASURED LIST!!
guys, you're those who are special to me in some ways and rather.
i hope our friendship would last long long yeahs? thanks for being there by mah side &going through with me th hard times that im having right now with mah family. you all know mah stuffs better thn th rest. please, please, do not ever make me feel as though i treasured th wrong person. thanks you!
i treasures you all.((((:

yawns~
got waken up by that MEIYOULIANGXIN de erzi!
im sleepy. thats it!
yesterday, metup with jonas first thn meet friends.
SHE BULLY ME! strangle me in the middle of the station lorhs -.-
eh! you better watch your back!! hmpffs>.< i will strangle ue back one day de horhs ))):
went lot one and i bought a doraemon for niuniu.(: laughhs.
yesterday went gym &swimming.
i cracked mah body foam bottle. so self blamed alrights?!haiyos. cycled th whole of cck &mah leg is breaking!
seriously it is.
urghs. conference with jy, jonas.co until must redial so many times lorhs.
grandma just behind me. thanks god she didnt nag. xP
todays' planning.
heading down to orchard with jy, jonas &moremoremore people.
ooos. big group uh?
so long didnt go out with more thn five people lerhs.
LAUGHHS.(:
train down to payalebar to meetup with jy first.
hey! i bought faggfagg below her house &guess what!? can alrights? i PASSED !!
lols. i know im being lame now..
hmms, now waiting for jy to get ready her stuffs &soon, going to head down to orchard.(:
once again, im blogging in down at jy house(:
Everything seems to be moving fast whereas im still behind th tracks.
Moving at mah own pace alone. I thought this time when mah sorrows pay a visit to me, i will be alone again. But i guess i was wrong. My friends was here with me. Though Im no longer crying, but im not feeling any happier. I dunno why. Whats actually bothering me? I watch th time ticking away day by day. His shadow also moving further, or rather, disappeared lerhs. yarhs, finally, he totally disappeared. I, standing alone down there, is moving into mah own world agains. Im no longer trap in him neither am i trap anywhere.(: im happy enough to be free. though im smiling so much no more, but im really grateful for those who lend me their ears these days. im walking mah life like a wrecked track but mah friends actually shift th track back to its original space. Because of this, im staying strong.
im standing strong. cant fall.. because it will only let those who care for me down.(:
but anyway, thanks for everything guys!!

im back from cycling &thats so tired cans ?
cycled round to Cck park.(:
slack at th park for a while before heading back home.
play th slope at teckwhye sec thr &i drove dave around!
thats like so cool lorhs (((:
Mind Distracted today.(: It's a SUCCESS for today.
hopefully tomorrow will be a success again \:
i will be meeting emerson tomorrow.
going to th gym.
workouts ,workouts &only workouts!
thats what im going to do tomorrow.(:
yeahs! mind settled down on that!
found a song kinda suitable for me.
想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念 你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要试过几次了以后才懂
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥 挥手
想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念 你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要试过今天的以后才懂
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥 挥手
如果有一刻 我们有缘在见
你会不会想起说过的永远
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过 笑着和你挥 挥手


Love is a hurtful game
It's when you shed tears &experience pain.
Neither any will lose ,Nor will win.
But what i know is one in a million would failed to give in.
Love is cruel, Love is blind.
Once you fall in love, you wouldnt be fine.
Soon you will look in the mirror and sees yourself cry.
And it's too late by then to even realise.
It's useless to love someone so much.
It makes no difference if he gonna break your heart.
Shattered and broken into a million pieces.
You can hardly fixed it back even if you take a thousand years.
So I've decided not to fall in love so easily.
It really isnt so sweet if you look in between.
One day I'll get so hurt and I'll tell mahself..
There's no more use crying over spilled milk.


泪水,是因为我伤心而流的吗?
很多时侯,我想念的回忆都会让我哭...
从今以侯, 我再也不会为他哭!!

Life begins again.
New life, New aims, New goals.
After all, love still sucks.'
He left me. &thats it!
i shouldnt be brooding over his stuffs.
So what if i did love him once?
does that matters?
So what if the memories still lingers on?
does that even matters?
So what if everything seems to be starting all over again?
does that also matters?
&So what if he sweettalks me once more?
does that even matters?
To me, nothing matters anymore.
What for people? What for?
But thanks guys for standing by me, hearing mah sorrows last night.
Mah eyes are simply tired of leaking.
should find some plumber one of these days to help me fixed x)
laughs. (:
well, im trying to be back mah normal self to laughs &jokes all day long. life is tough! its true. love is even tougher. but after all, staying strong is the most tougher job to do on earth. who the hell would go apply for that job? ME !
yeruisi ! im going to apply for the job &work hard for it ! staying strong~
Days had been messed up these days &i just hate it.
be it to be mah family stuffs, friends stuffs, school stuffs, love stuffs.
everything seems to be up on their planns to messed me up in whirls &whirls.
what to do ? im trying to get mahself out of th blackhole.
sighhs~ nothing to do today. making mah decision up on to go to jeanne house or not. urghs~ can i dont see th world today? dont wanna see anyone.
maybe you can say that im running away from everything.
yeahs, i admit i am.
Why? because im tired. really tired.
After all problems, im still smiling now &then.
can say that im pretty strong le buhhs.\:
Alrights, got to packup lerhs. takecare guys!
Jiayuan ; Jonas ; Aubrey ; Jeanne &Emerson..
thanks for being there for me when im really down on mah love life now...
love &treasure you guys lots!!


Boy, i know that you are not th one for me. though everything had ended, thanks for all th memories. I will choose NOT &never to keep them. cause it will hurt me even more. I had lost th kisses &th hugs you give. I dont want them back either. Takecare lots boy. I've loved you once. &NEVER would do that again.

Right now, im currently at mah erjiu house.
Supposedly i should be at the gym doing mah workout, running on the threadmill, cutting away mah calories intake, burning all mah fats, losing mah weight...
But, here i am, at mah erjiu house, blogging in, writing all mah feelings, &just a simple update for the day.
theres a dresscode here in gym lorhs.
Bored out of life.
Hmms, I decided to blog out.(:
early morning , cousin morning call me. wokeup, but slept back.
around eight thirty , i wokeup fully. prepare mahself with shorts and a simple tee.
cycled down to unity sec to fetch cousin.
went back &its so tiring?
went to cousin house &blog there.
after blogging &mah cousin bathe.
headed down to office by cycling agains.
slept there, slack there, drew there but didnt fag.
went back to cousin house and thn cycled down to mah erjiu house.
the whole was plainly about cycling and cycling?
maybe one day i should try cycling to bedok! laughhs.(:
just joking. (:
let me brief about the gym.
There's only 2 threadmills , 2 cycling thingy... dumbbells , &the situp thing.
the gym is quite small larhs. but the pool is kinda style. ((:
Sadly, i would need to postpone mah gym plans till tomorrow.
urghs~


He called me up this time.
But phone prepaid damn low.
Resulted in i go kup his call. but message him that when i reached home, i would call him up.(:
He told me: '' Btw, your mother finding me again. I think she wants to stop us from contacting. How?''
Well, if its really mah mum...
xiaoR , will you go and fight for what you want this time?
sighhs. i didnt know what i should do actually.
I loved him once. Cant say i still love him.
cause i dont want to get hurt by him all over again.
But cant deny the feeling had been always there.
should i love him once more? this i really dont know. really dont know.
One more thing, Does he loves me ?
thats the most important question among all buhhs. what question is more important than this?
i guess, nothing.
i always ask mahself this question.. what does your heart wants you to do?
This time, mah heart isnt giving out any senses ! i do hope it could give me another sense.
Just answer out this question in mah mind. Is it worth , should i ?
All the doubts &questions marks in mah mind for him hasnt been solved.
In the past, a hongster he would be.
so what now he tells me that he hongs no more?
how many of it could be trusted?
I know 2 years back de him..
ive fallen for him by mistake.
2 years after de him..
will i fall for him all over again?
Can anyone just tell me what should i do this time round?
I need some advices.. just a simple one.

btw, anyone free to pei me go gym? though i know its a bit far luhs. but... pleasee ):

This Post Is Specially Dedicated For :

AUBREYKOHJIARONG

RONGKORKOR! i thought you forget me le lorhs. walaus. just to gek me? laughhs. okay larhs.
seriously, i thought that you've change lerh lorhs. thn after reading your post, i realise..
我错了！im sorry ! 对不起! so long never pinch me ? walaus. how can bully me =x
kelian de wo)): shaggs.
and horhs, can dun call me by the name i dun like ??? TAKE IT OFF>.<anyway nowadays a lot of things also happening to me nowadays.meetup soon luhs.that day say want ton but didnt meet me.shaggs.so ton up next time kays?for now, im currently like...nightlife, nightlife... chiong chiong chiong!!! .(:

Im being freed agains.
Though i didnt regret falling into the sea of love,
But i do learn a lesson &im not falling again inside for now.
Perhaps, i shall just be mahself agains.
The girl that only sees friends. Never love.
Hopefully, i will be happier this time round.

Days after Days, though i love you no more.
But i guess by hearing your voice,
The flashback refreshed.
I guess I wouldnt be the one to be by your side.
I wouldnt be the one to get your hug &kisses once more.
I have to move on.
Moved on lerhs, still the same old thing.
Love treats me like a toy..
kisses &hugs are just nothing perhaps.
I will be back mah sweet self in th past.
I no longer wanna trap mahself inside.
Add some colours in my own life. That will be better.
I know, will be better.
Now that, it seems like you came back.
I dunno how true is that. But i just hope you wouldnt be the one to hurt me again.
you said sorry but i dunno how true is it.
Or rather, do you mean your sorry?
whatever it is , im telling mahself..
放手，放开一切。。。
或许会比较自由。
因为我不想再被伤害或伤害你。
因为爱，所以最后才会悲哀！

im a unique girl within.
noone sees it.
i will be waiting..
waiting for the next one to get mah heart.....
im tired to fight for whoever i want.
no point fighting, so i just have to let go lerhs..
now im back to the past one.
it will be the same right?
getting hurt all over again ?
im afraid i will be so silly to do that again ):

yeruisi , you got to make the right choice.
you sure you want get hurt? worth it marhs?
go and think over it yourself.
think for yourself for once.
dun destroy it.

i finally update mah blog lerhs.
if not it looks so dead lorhs.
currently jobless.
on a strict diet plans.
gymming &swimming all nights.
no food allows in mah life.
just vege &fruits.
tough huhs?
slacking nowadays.
that day still tonning night.
with Jonas ; Jiayuan &Shuting(:
slack at kallang river.
th scenario is beautiful lorh.
hey guys; slack again someday!!
everything has changed &things in life are back on track.
i've been single &i intended to be single.
i've been contacting him back lerhs.
he knew its me.
things are getting better.
but not towards the couple route.
dint wanna let him know that i still loves him.
but i guess, by guessing also know luhhs.
because of love, now landed mahself into this stupid ; fustratin state.
love someone but to no avail.
trying mah best to love someone but got blamed.
yeahs, perhaps i did did something wrongly.
but am i the only one who is hurting others?
maybe, probably to them.. i am.
nothing i could do but just to keep quiet &let them say whatever they wanna say. im plainly tired to fight for mah ownself. outsiders will sees much more thn me. so just let them judge their eyes on me however they want. i cant say anything.
even if i can, i wouldnt.
found mahself another worthy friend to be trusted.(:
you know who you are x)
&of course mixed around with.
so... treasure me horhs peoples.
xDD tsktsk.
hmms... the next post is coming soon.
laughs (:

ohs.
days was passing slower &slower.
nothing but slower.
its getting up on mah nerves &i didnt say anything.
just let it get me.
i was practically doing nothing except for
slacking &fagging these days.
ohs god. its boring rights?
no home, no nothing.
life sucks eventually ue wil think.
went to sing K with Jonas ; shuting ; Jiayuan ; yiming &emerson that day.
emotional mode for a while &thn yeahs, tears was shed.
i cried a number of times these days too.
but noone knows.
been alone again.
felt alone again.
was alone again.
but again , noone knows how i felt.
sighhs. how i wish badly &deadly that someone could understand me.
wishes do come true rights?

i did nothing, but truely hopes so.




*i wanna find someone who understands me... as a friend.
yeahs, as a friend.*

was out of mah mind these few days.
ive got a 'yangmehmeh'.
it was like sooo lame lorhs. find one day to post mah 'yangmehmeh' photo on blog((:
2days ago went to meet mummy &ahgong.
they decided to let me out there.
until i figure a way out on mah own.
slept over at nuer's house.
well, days was slacking &fagging away lorhs.
hmms. went out with .. hmms, let me recall whats their name.
but anyway is jonas' friends.
clara ; jiayuan ; brenda (:
hmms. they were nice people luhhs.
was tonning last night again.
with jonas &emerson.
they were drinking &i was like so bored. so end up walking around here &there bedok.
emerson was seh , very seh...
thn i went to bought a big bottle of mineral water with mah last $2.
jonas pour it on emerson.
end up, still sehseh =.='''
laughhs.
im like laughing mah guts out lorhs with emerson de reaction when she was dead drunk.
endup , story ended between us there.
yarhs, just ended.
let's be friends ((:
sky starts to brighten up.
so we went to the other place to slack. just opposit the coffeeshop.
yes. &i began to start hyper-ing about.
emerson was dead asleep.
jonas &me was like disturbing her lorhs.
should have record it down.
zzz was what i did after tonning.
morning zzz.
afternoon still zzzz.
evening lerhs.
got waken up by jonas.
went over to mah third aunt house eat.
was feeling awkward lorhs.
meiyouyuanren!
it's not only ue feel awkward alrights ? but thanks for pei-ing me.
THANKS!!!!! ue better accept mah thanks.
if not later ask 'yangmehmeh' to hit uer head head xDDD
tsktsk x)
went back after eating a few prawns and a bunbun xD
i dunno how to use the chopsticks.
cos i scared i drop th food ):
must learn lerhs.
hmms, went to find jiayuan after that .
ate mah CUPNOODLES-tomyam ((:
yeahyeahs.
went LAN. &im now LAN-blogging((:
laughhs. alrights people.
got to go (: see you !

*i love mah 'yangmehmeh'. at th very least, i dun have to think if it treats me true marhs. (:

Im angry today!
Of the security guard.
Have fun with Emerson , Jonas , Shuting &3others.
.(:
Laughslaughs.
Blowing bubbles ; Blocking people all.
what the hells~ but i was having fun today!
yeahs !
tomorrow going out for a date x)
so happyys .((:

Im bored.

Peeps , this is the pics a few days ago. Was Zilian-ing with Emerson de phone. figuring about & pics pics pics~~