im out today(: i will be surrendering next wednesday everyone): it's just time to go back ler buhhs. i will try to enjoy mahself for the next few days. what to do?! gonna be STUCKED inside for 4-5 months . hmms...

today went out with xiaoyan &xiaoC. hmms. went bugis &we have had quite happening time there (: saw lots and lots of QX &they just simply urks me larhs. so sian to see them liaos. anewae... latest update is that i will be surrendering on wednesday.
ms koh, thanks for everything. i will be going back (: dun worry. i will.

reply for taggs♥
ms koh:
sighhs. i dunno. thats what i heard & im afraid.

today is tiring_*

reply for taggs♥
mummy:
just wanna let ue noe...im fine right now. hmms. ue aint talking to the wall. i wanna reply ue but its just that ive got no time. i need to find work & everything so ive got no time to blog in& everything & do whatever i used to do. this time that i run, it may be wrong but seriously i do learn a lot of things... how to be independant... really independant this time round. i dunno how to return back after taking this step& all i can do is to continue?? im surviving mahself. its tough & of course i do still think of going back there. surrender & all but what can i do ue see? i found mah job & just trying to survive mahself out there. its true as ue have said before. surviving isnt easy at all. working is tough & it just is so tiring)): mummy, i do not know how to express how i feel right now...

ms koh:
WC... its scary ue noe?? after lyke getting to hear news bout mum filing me WC... how can i not believe? ue see? everyone is afraid of getting filed WC. so am i. now the law has change. until 26... if its true, im going to be stuck in till 26? 9 years. seriously i can tell ue straight...i wont be able to take it. now that ive gone MIA... yeahs, it may be hard to find me& ue all get worried. im fine. im alright too. will update everything in blog? so if anything happen to me, ue all should get to know it first hand?

lyfe lyke this... sian. working is tough. so tiring lorhhs)): wanna sleep liaos. today is the 5th day since ive absconded & im tired)): busy finding for job& all. sighhs. well, today was alright for me & things are also not that worst. i will make it ? learnt how to be independent liaos. really seriously ive learnt quite lots of things.
hmms...loving someone is hard. forgetting someone is even harder. now that ive done it & ue are like coming back to me? im tired of getting hurt from someone i love. if this time round, im giving ue a chance...ue will treasure it marhhs?? i dun dare to move anymore steps in love. ive once love ue, ive once wait for ue. all the hard hard things ive tried to done it. but does that even matters? its all in the past & if i dun find someone new... am i going to stop there for ue? i dunno this time round ue will stable down marhs. but i can tell ue straight... i want a stable boyfriend. really stable one. someone whom will not leave me alone to die, someone who will be there for me when i need someone. ni zuo de dao marhhs?

lyfe is being so bored! once again...didnt sleep. dun understand why i just cant sleep luhhs. everytime sleep lerhhs... but once wakeup jiu sleep bu zhao lerhh. whats wrong)):
tomorrow not finding yiliang lerhhs. dun need to find him also. hmms... ive been thinking a lot these few days. bout mah mum, mah sentence & probably peeps around me. they just simply STRESS me up...

很多事候，当我很想爱一个人的时候，那个人却是伤害我的人。现在我somehow找到要爱我的人。。。却突然间我爱的人出现在眼前。我应该回去爱回那个人吗？心情很乱。我根本都不知道他到地知不知道什么是爱。。。什么是tiongxim.现在也只可以顺其自然lorhhs. isnt it lykdat always? letting nature take its course &ignore everything buhhs. i wish to but i know i cant. i want to stable down lerhhs. dun wanna play anemore. the person who succeed in waiting will be the one buhhs. someone say he will wait for me but im not believing. his words can be trusted marhhs? i dunno. i doubt his words luhhs. waiting for someone is tough. very tough. i tried it once &i tell mahself im not going to do it again. why must i wait? wait& wait &wait but nothing simply comes out from it. so? what for? as ive said always, im tired of love liaos. maybe too much lies &hurts le barhhs?

*why must ue appear again& let me into confusion ?*

im confused with everything im doing now. its lyke going downfall everywhere. sighhs. mummy, maybe ue wouldnt want to hear anything or even have a look at me. but i do hope that ue can understand too. heard& receive news that ue are going to file me WC. what do ue expect me to do? i wouldnt know whenn am i going to blogg in again too. but i hope that it'll be soon so that i can kind of update ue? im fine mummy... im fine outside. didnt get into trouble & everything is alrights.

well, lyfe is in a buzz guys): i do not know what i should do & everything is lyke...against me?i dunno luhhs. tell me larhs. what should i do. sighhs. why is things happening the way i wouldnt want it at all? is it fair to me? i know im practically selfish to hurt those arounds me. im sorry. if ue guys thinks that mah sorry are bullshits, so be it. i couldnt control uer thinking & so i wouldnt care. i know what im doing,... i guess it's alrights? coz im tired of everything. it's lyke its mah fault totally for everything that happen. its not aright? its not. but nvms if ue guys are going to think lykdat. mummy filing me WC. this is what i heard. so what do ue guys expect? me not to believe? i cant do it . i just cant not believe. ue tell me how?! when ue are at uer darkest & all this has to happen. dun ue think its lyke... so tedious? im tiredd... really tired..

*everythings is going downfall. cant aneone just understand mah feelings?*

reply for taggs.
mummy. dun believe is up to ue. i know ue will charge me WC yeahs? is it? i dunno luhhs.

today was busy through out.

*i dunno what im thinking. im confused*

reply for taggs.
mummy♥ - mummy, i know that this time round, mah decision is really a bad one. im sorry. well, i'll still wait for uer messages alrights? i'll be waiting. i really will ! so the day after tmr must message me horhs! dun forget. ILOVEYOU((:
ms koh♥ - im thankful for all that ue've done &im sorry for doing this this time round. ue are the best & fastest caseworker ive seen ((: thanks for everything. when the time is ripe... i guess i will meet up mah mum... thats when i will surrender kays? thanks once again.

hmms. today was tough. siians. dunno luhhs. lyfe suckks as usual lorhs. run a lot places this time round & i just manage to chat with mummy in blog. first time she is entering mah blog. it's a miracle? haas ((: she always hates it when im blogging but this time round ... im surprised though. saw mah caseworker tagging me too. ==''' well, tmr will be saturday lerhs. dunno yao zen yang guo): but nvms narhhs. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi mahhs. see lorhs tmr can meet who... haas (: alrights. got to end liaos.

*i dun understand why.. but i know what im doing. believe or not is up to everyone):*

ive ABSCONDED? i guess im so very disappointed with mahself lest mah mum ):
MUMMY!~ if ue ever do get to read this post ):
im sorry . i really miss ue a lot): REALLY & im just not lying. ue may be thinking if i really do miss ue, why am i doing this kind of thing . that day when i just DID it , i really felt lyke calling ue. really feel like calling. coz mummy, i just really needed uer advice that day & im just so confused about what to do. i thought about it the whole day! when i was about to return back, i get to find out that ue noe bout it liaos , im just so afraid & i dunno how to face ue. should i have called ue earlier? i guess so . how stupid i am i know... &i really noe ! mummy, im really tired of life liaos. ue noe that day when i absconded ? that very day... how i hope i can just get BANG. yeahs! i did thought of that. im really tired of life. yeahs~ i noe im left with just a few more months to go. just that pathetic 3 months. mummy, im very upset with mahself...very upset that why am i still doing this. do ue noe something? this time round, the feeling that i run away is different. very different. it's like... im really thinking through mah run all the time. i thought bout ue & surprisingly i did thought bout ms koh & ms kris chan too ): i know clearly that i did something wrong. mummy, im not running for the sake of fun this time round. maybe it's lyke... when i needed someone badly, noone is suitable to be mah listening ear. when i wish to call ue & simply even meet ue, im just afraid that ue might call the police or even drag me back uerself. this time round i run le ): im sorry for me, mahself & mah very ownself. i just simply felt that im so pathetic lorhs. being inside for 1 year 9months & i still do not know how to think ): am i so stupid ? so useless right ? even more pathetic now . rmb all those english words i teached ue during mah homeleave? i guess i can use it on mahself right now. im indeed struggling & i just dunno what to do. mummy , lastly, i wanna tell ue . im sorry. im really sorry. i just hope that ive just that lil' courage to just call & talk to ue one of these days. i really miss ue a lot. really a lot ):


why cant everything just go right for me? arent i stupid to be like...land mahself in these stupid pathetic state? IHATEMAHSELF):

sighs~
today once again pon school liaos )): im just so disappointed with mahself larhs )): im at lan shop now . was lyke going through mah mind whether to return back there or not . there's just thoughts to abscond)): ssighs~ i felt very much lyke calling mah mum up right now . but im simply just so afraid . sighs~ well , lots of things has been happening alrights ! i went up to that stupid lockup for 7days )): wahs ! i just return school yesterday . well , the reason why i will pon school again today is ... i went to see the doctor just now & its like its been so late liao lorhs . & its not that i wanna try mah luck or play with the system in girls home): i know its wrong & now im just thinking whether should i go back or not luhhs )): sighs~ i dun wan to disappoint mah mum again luhhs . how i wish mah mum was here to lyke .... tell me what to do ?

*korkor ; if i really absconded , dun erase me off uer mind hao marhs ? )): imissue

im heading back today!
most probably going out with mum later . today must spent more time with mum so wont be able to blog in so much. well , i'd just have a short update .
called yiliang & junkang ahdi last night larhs .
yiliang say he is going to woo me !
LOLS! told him to be mah korkor first & he say he wanna get me straight . dun wan go thru korkor & all . >.<
IMISSTHEM both (:
hohohos >.< im going back later at 7pm. sians . wonder when i will be out again .
yiliang , next homeleave will beep ue up again . ue better PICKEDUP .
ahdi , ue better also kays ?
gonna call ue both .
hmms ... this week didnt spoke to medhee .
wonder how is he . never see him online also .
well well well , im going to blog off right now & ...


*im going to giveup soon . perhaps give yiliang a chance ? see first barhs

im back updating again (:

just now went out with bro to meet duanyi (:
LOLS. i kept disturbing she&her boyfriend.it was lyke so darn funny lorhs . i went to buy mah school shoes & it just cost me $19.95. took out mah $50 & pay . xintong xD thn we went to th cinema to buy ticket . well not for me but for duanyi & her boyfriend . so dots lorhs . her boyfriend paiseh to ask whether got horror movie or not . thn i tell duanyi that she aizai one ... go ask . LOLS! after buying th ticket , we went over to ZONE-X to tke neoprints . th couple was like so blur lorhs . dunno what to pose . so i , being a lil mischievious , i asked them to kiss lahs , hug lahhs ... LOLS ! machine broke down eventually & th couple was late for show . they asked for a refund & thn they rush off to catch their movie . me & brother went shop shop & i bought some stationery stuffs from popular . going to bring it in tomorrow . after that , went sengtua eat dinner . came back home after that . made green bean ice . preparing to eat it later when watching horror ((: yeahyeahs . i had somehow had a great time disturbing th couple . thanks lots guys (((:

i miss mah korkor & pianpian ... they are being so important &ilovesthem .

*is it just so hard to say im sorry sincerely ?

im sorry but we just cant be ..... *

im back for homeleave once again (:
wahs . parents just went to japan & they came back just yesterday . today come and fetch me lerhs . i thought i wasnt going back home ue noe ? thn suddenly today morning ms pauline told me im going out for homeleave . i was like so happy alrights ! hey guys ! i score 13/15 for mah chemistry alrights ! woohoos ((: i was so happy larhs . finally went back to school and everything was quite well except for the fact that peeps actually insulted me of mah stupid qirls' home hairstyle . walaus . at least understand a bit larhs . what can i do with mah hair mans !!! *cries* well , i did something to mah hair just now . still the same , stick to concave larhs ((: so many things happen at one single shot in qirls' home & it's so sweet lorhs . heard that mah korkor went to sickbay . i hope she's fine and all larhs ((: i miss her so much . hey ! for that OMG in mah taggy ... please huh ... respect a lil' bit larhs . ive got mah own personal reason to be like this de marhs !! how can ue insult me ! stupid ! hmpfs>.< well , nvms larhs . used to it lerhs . anewae , smile & dun be so shocked and give such comments again kays ? ((:
hmms . im bored larhs . this duanyi ! cheat mah feelings . say want to meet but ps me because of boyfriend ! walaus . this type of friend also have . PSK larhs ! very irritated lehs . hmms ... these few days been having terrible mood swings . bad siahs . i think i gonna have mah period real soon . sian>.<
i wan to go out larhs . later most probably going out with friends norhhs . tomorrow have to report back by 7pm. sian larhs )): i miss CHENWANTING!
i ate kinder bueno just now & it's like ... *yummy* haas (:
i have been doing a routine of bad things nowadays & i simply just felt lyke im getting from bad to worst lorhs \: i will try to low profile liaos now (: hees . i miss mah Mr.pianpian . wahs . she also another one very good . yesterday me & qanqinq qo and throw rubbish . she wrote to me a letter which is like so SHORT lorhs ! after so long lehs .... wahs ... she super got heart alrights ! >.< but no matter what , i seriously miss her loads (:
i miss mah sadsad & qanqinq .
after thinking so long ..
i do feel like finding a boyfriend for now =x
oops . im bored larhs in life . just currently finding for someone who will really give me whats it means by happiness ((: haas (; well , i just got to blog out for now alrights ! blog in later tonight .