ive ABSCONDED? i guess im so very disappointed with mahself lest mah mum ):
MUMMY!~ if ue ever do get to read this post ):
im sorry . i really miss ue a lot): REALLY & im just not lying. ue may be thinking if i really do miss ue, why am i doing this kind of thing . that day when i just DID it , i really felt lyke calling ue. really feel like calling. coz mummy, i just really needed uer advice that day & im just so confused about what to do. i thought about it the whole day! when i was about to return back, i get to find out that ue noe bout it liaos , im just so afraid & i dunno how to face ue. should i have called ue earlier? i guess so . how stupid i am i know... &i really noe ! mummy, im really tired of life liaos. ue noe that day when i absconded ? that very day... how i hope i can just get BANG. yeahs! i did thought of that. im really tired of life. yeahs~ i noe im left with just a few more months to go. just that pathetic 3 months. mummy, im very upset with mahself...very upset that why am i still doing this. do ue noe something? this time round, the feeling that i run away is different. very different. it's like... im really thinking through mah run all the time. i thought bout ue & surprisingly i did thought bout ms koh & ms kris chan too ): i know clearly that i did something wrong. mummy, im not running for the sake of fun this time round. maybe it's lyke... when i needed someone badly, noone is suitable to be mah listening ear. when i wish to call ue & simply even meet ue, im just afraid that ue might call the police or even drag me back uerself. this time round i run le ): im sorry for me, mahself & mah very ownself. i just simply felt that im so pathetic lorhs. being inside for 1 year 9months & i still do not know how to think ): am i so stupid ? so useless right ? even more pathetic now . rmb all those english words i teached ue during mah homeleave? i guess i can use it on mahself right now. im indeed struggling & i just dunno what to do. mummy , lastly, i wanna tell ue . im sorry. im really sorry. i just hope that ive just that lil' courage to just call & talk to ue one of these days. i really miss ue a lot. really a lot ):


why cant everything just go right for me? arent i stupid to be like...land mahself in these stupid pathetic state? IHATEMAHSELF):