im confused ; im fustrated ;
im everything i can be right now.


emerson was behaving not herself yesterday. though i could communicate with her better but i just... aiyarhs. cant she just be herself? if her real self cant get me, i rather she dun have me. i dun wan her to act lyke someone else and thn treat me. sighhs. anewae.. i ate so much yesterday alrights! oreo, KFC , donuts...
im growing fat if this continue like this.
today going out on a couple date with Wyn &Jonas ... Emerson &Risse ...
laughhs. hopefully everything will turn out smoothly barhhs.


To tiing:
SISTER! 我很想念你! hope to meet up with ue soon okays ?
To emerson:
ehs! ue stop it arhhs. dun worry... ue buy HL for me i also DUNWAN drink arhs! BLUECKS!!>.<
To Wyn :
girl, i miss ue larhs. finally ue today come out lerhs. enjoy uer day girl(: i miss ue!!
To Jonas :
thanks for the last stick of cigg... hmms, dun worry larhs. 我，叶芮思不会contact没有缘人的...joking xD
To Mummy:
if ue would one day see this, i do hope ue see it. though ue would want to hear about me no more, but i just got to let ue know this. i just need to feel a belonging at home. do ue know that everytime i see ue enjoying yourself with daddy and boy , i felt so lost ?! i bet ue didnt know anything bout it barhs. all ue know is that ue want me to accept daddy as mine. but have ue all ever treat me as one ? i know im a delinquent kid. but is it fair for me? i know ive disappoint ue a lot of times. I JUST NEED A PLACE AT HOME. nothing else. i dun want anything... i just want someone to love me. yeahs! i felt neglected canns? I FELT NEGLECTED , NEGLECTED , NEGLECTED !!!. as though home is just a shelter for me. nothing else alrights?! urghs. ENOUGH ler larhs. since ue wouldnt want to have any talk with me, theres no point im hanging on. no matter how bad im doing outside right now, i will prove to ue that ... i DONT NEED ANYONE TO BE BY MAH SIDE. i will prove to ue that im a strong girl.. a stronger girl thn what ue thought that i was. i will take good care of mahself... ue.. take care buhhs.


*i totally hate mahself when mah life is in a mess like now...